My kid can be so sweet one minute and then the next minute he's just a big meanie. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Does he drink some potion in the middle of the conversations we're having and I just don't see it because he's also a ninja? And if he's ninja where did he get that skill from? I need to stop letting him take MMA and Civil Air Patrol.
So the Benefit Betties were on Great Day Houston this morning. We were in the audience but still. It just so happened that the only real shot you see me in is at the very end when they are scanning the audience and I am the last person you see. Zach watched the recorded show when he got home from school.
Zach: Wow mom, you're like at the VERY end. You're the last thing people see. You are probably the sunshine in their day.
Me: Awww Zach that's so sweet.
Zach: Yeah I mean they are probably thinking "If an unpopular person like her can make it on TV so can I" and that always makes peoples day! They will start believing they can do it too.
Me: Really? you had to go there?
Zach: So when are you going to the big screens? You've been on the small time screen, now it's time to move up.
I swear... goes from sweet to insulting all in a matter of seconds.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Not a real post... just lots of mushyness maybe... emotions blah!
I have to say that it has been extremely hard for me being laid up in bed with this broken foot. I haven't wanted to do anything, including posting stuff on my blog. I have felt left out from all the goings on my friends have been doing and the invites I haven't been getting. I understand, I'm on crutches and inviting me out means you're sort of obligated to help me do things since crutches = not doing much for yourself. And I understand that sometimes I'm not invited out because people think that since I'm on crutches I probably wouldn't want to go (which who knows at the time it may have been true). It's still nice to be invited though so you know you haven't been forgotten. :(
Saying that I have to say that I am THANKFUL to be part of an amazing charity group called Benefit Betties. These ladies are wonderful and I just don't have the words to describe how great they are. They have been so supportive of me with this broken foot and have made a point to make sure I'm not left out when we are at events helping raise funds for the troops or our furry friends. They make sure I have somewhere to sit and I'm still included in conversations and the fundraising and everything.
I know this is just a small thing, but when you can't do anything for yourself (even for a short time) you start to feel like you are useless or worthless. I personally hate asking people for help and I know my amazing son is tired of helping. I hate not being able to get up and get a drink of water and go back to my seat without someone having to carry the water for me. The Betties and other people at the events we have been to haven't made me feel like I have been a burden to them at these events. For that I am truly thankful. Thankful to have such amazing people in my life and to be a part of a group that is so positive and supportive and do their best to make sure no one feels left out or bad. Joining the Benefit Betties has been one of the best decisions I have made in a while. I love those ladies (and my kid of course).
Didn't mean to get all mushy and what not just wanted to voice how thankful I am for the betties. :)
On a side note, my son downloaded a new game on his phone called hungry shark or something like that. And you get to swim around and eat people!!! How awesome is that?!?! want to take some anger out? Go be a shark and eat people! Obviously you can eat fish and stuff too but the people part is more fun.
Saying that I have to say that I am THANKFUL to be part of an amazing charity group called Benefit Betties. These ladies are wonderful and I just don't have the words to describe how great they are. They have been so supportive of me with this broken foot and have made a point to make sure I'm not left out when we are at events helping raise funds for the troops or our furry friends. They make sure I have somewhere to sit and I'm still included in conversations and the fundraising and everything.
I know this is just a small thing, but when you can't do anything for yourself (even for a short time) you start to feel like you are useless or worthless. I personally hate asking people for help and I know my amazing son is tired of helping. I hate not being able to get up and get a drink of water and go back to my seat without someone having to carry the water for me. The Betties and other people at the events we have been to haven't made me feel like I have been a burden to them at these events. For that I am truly thankful. Thankful to have such amazing people in my life and to be a part of a group that is so positive and supportive and do their best to make sure no one feels left out or bad. Joining the Benefit Betties has been one of the best decisions I have made in a while. I love those ladies (and my kid of course).
Didn't mean to get all mushy and what not just wanted to voice how thankful I am for the betties. :)
On a side note, my son downloaded a new game on his phone called hungry shark or something like that. And you get to swim around and eat people!!! How awesome is that?!?! want to take some anger out? Go be a shark and eat people! Obviously you can eat fish and stuff too but the people part is more fun.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
HAPPY EASTER!!!! Easter eggs + frogs = SERIOUSLY BOYS?!?!?!?
First off HAPPY EASTER everyone!!!!!!! I hope everyone is having a wonderful day! I personally am lying in bed with my foot elevated and taking pain meds. I didn't think foot surgery would have me down so much. :( Oh well I will make the most of it.
I spent last night with my mama E and family. We decided to do an adult Easter egg hunt (the only child was my 13 year old kid). So not only did the adults hunt for eggs they hunted for mini liquor bottles as well. Well I personally couldn't hunt anything since I'm on crutches so I sat in a chair holding the basket for everyone to put their eggs in while drinking a glass of wine. The "boys" put a few eggs in the basket and asked my friend Jordan and I to empty the eggs out so they can stuff them again with other stuff. this comment sounded suspicious but since Jordan was "whatever" about it I decided to help her empty the eggs. I was holding the wine in one hand and I opened an egg in the other hand and there was a fucking frog in it!!!! The boys had emptied the egg and stuffed it with a live frog for me or Jordan to open!!!! I screamed "oh shit" and dropped the egg. I was proud of myself for not dropping the egg basket or the glass of wine! of course the reaction had everyone laughing for a while. I'm glad I can amuse people! :) The frog was really just chill about everything he didn't care who held him or touched him or anything. He hung out with us for a while.
I spent last night with my mama E and family. We decided to do an adult Easter egg hunt (the only child was my 13 year old kid). So not only did the adults hunt for eggs they hunted for mini liquor bottles as well. Well I personally couldn't hunt anything since I'm on crutches so I sat in a chair holding the basket for everyone to put their eggs in while drinking a glass of wine. The "boys" put a few eggs in the basket and asked my friend Jordan and I to empty the eggs out so they can stuff them again with other stuff. this comment sounded suspicious but since Jordan was "whatever" about it I decided to help her empty the eggs. I was holding the wine in one hand and I opened an egg in the other hand and there was a fucking frog in it!!!! The boys had emptied the egg and stuffed it with a live frog for me or Jordan to open!!!! I screamed "oh shit" and dropped the egg. I was proud of myself for not dropping the egg basket or the glass of wine! of course the reaction had everyone laughing for a while. I'm glad I can amuse people! :) The frog was really just chill about everything he didn't care who held him or touched him or anything. He hung out with us for a while.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
frozen wine + unicorn horns + sisters = WTF?!?!?!
My son and I were able to visit my little sister and niece this past week for her 21st birthday! She's 21 finally!!!! WOOHOO!!!
We celebrate our Christmas in mid February beginning of March every year. It just so happens that this year I have a broken foot. So we had exchanged gifts and drank wine and these are the photos that came from this. Craziness!!!! I have never laughed so hard in my life. There wasn't one dull moment while I was with my sister.
This is how you defrost frozen wine and ice your broken foot
My son is a majestic unicorn
Unicorn crossing!!! (probably should not try on heels with a broken foot)
More unicorn crossing
Beautiful Unicorns
Not sure if this is a unicorn or super hero or both!
So, needless to say after this weekend I think my kid needs more therapy! LOL I'm having foot surgery soon and I jokingly told my son that I am probably going to die on the table because it's such a simple surgery and that's the kind of luck I have. He responded with "um, no! I keep you alive so that I don't have to live with Aunt Loren. She's crazy!!! I really really don't want to live with her!" LOL I tried to explain to him that she and I are really only crazy when we are together or on the phone with each other. That when I'm not around she'd be like I am with him on a daily basis. only a little bit crazy.
We celebrate our Christmas in mid February beginning of March every year. It just so happens that this year I have a broken foot. So we had exchanged gifts and drank wine and these are the photos that came from this. Craziness!!!! I have never laughed so hard in my life. There wasn't one dull moment while I was with my sister.
So, needless to say after this weekend I think my kid needs more therapy! LOL I'm having foot surgery soon and I jokingly told my son that I am probably going to die on the table because it's such a simple surgery and that's the kind of luck I have. He responded with "um, no! I keep you alive so that I don't have to live with Aunt Loren. She's crazy!!! I really really don't want to live with her!" LOL I tried to explain to him that she and I are really only crazy when we are together or on the phone with each other. That when I'm not around she'd be like I am with him on a daily basis. only a little bit crazy.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
skin suits, the new fashion?? but not really
Oh the conversations I have with people. I don't even know what starts them half the time!
The following is the conversation between a friend and myself.
Me: What are you thinking about?
T: you
Me: what about me?
T: Your face. I want to wear it!
Me: My face?!?! EEEWwwwww you're going to make me into a skin suit?
T: no really I was thinking about your smile and how it was nice to see you again.
Me: Really? Not about wearing me as a skin suit?
T: Uh yeah I'm a psycho killer thank you.
Me: Well I'm just saying... you aren't going to see me for a while unless we meet up during the week. So that could turn you into a psycho killer, it's been known to happen. I have that effect on people.
Me: Because really I'm bigger and shorter than you so the suit would be baggy and high waters on you and thats just a waste of my skin.
T: you could always hem it.
Me: Um it would be too short on you, why would you hem it and make it shorter? Unless you want shorts but then that'd just be weird.
T: And wearing a skin suit in general is just fine right? LOL
Me: Well as long as it's not my skin you're wearing as a suit then sure a skin suit is fine... maybe go with cow skin or something less psycho so you don't end up in prison.
Me: Unless you can make human skin suits look less like human skin... maybe sew it as the liner of a suit so no one sees it but you.
For some reason the conversation ended there. I mean I was offering him a way out to wear skin suits the least he could have done was say thank you! goodness!
P.S. I don't really condone wearing skin as a suit. Just conversations about wearing skin suits. unless you are wearing a skin suit while having a conversation about wearing skin suits and then I will have to boycott being your friend. It's just gross... and at some point would probably be smelly.
The following is the conversation between a friend and myself.
Me: What are you thinking about?
T: you
Me: what about me?
T: Your face. I want to wear it!
Me: My face?!?! EEEWwwwww you're going to make me into a skin suit?
T: no really I was thinking about your smile and how it was nice to see you again.
Me: Really? Not about wearing me as a skin suit?
T: Uh yeah I'm a psycho killer thank you.
Me: Well I'm just saying... you aren't going to see me for a while unless we meet up during the week. So that could turn you into a psycho killer, it's been known to happen. I have that effect on people.
Me: Because really I'm bigger and shorter than you so the suit would be baggy and high waters on you and thats just a waste of my skin.
T: you could always hem it.
Me: Um it would be too short on you, why would you hem it and make it shorter? Unless you want shorts but then that'd just be weird.
T: And wearing a skin suit in general is just fine right? LOL
Me: Well as long as it's not my skin you're wearing as a suit then sure a skin suit is fine... maybe go with cow skin or something less psycho so you don't end up in prison.
Me: Unless you can make human skin suits look less like human skin... maybe sew it as the liner of a suit so no one sees it but you.
For some reason the conversation ended there. I mean I was offering him a way out to wear skin suits the least he could have done was say thank you! goodness!
P.S. I don't really condone wearing skin as a suit. Just conversations about wearing skin suits. unless you are wearing a skin suit while having a conversation about wearing skin suits and then I will have to boycott being your friend. It's just gross... and at some point would probably be smelly.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
braces, vaginas...this shit goes together I just don't know how
I have had a horrible day. Not only was it stressful with work (just a bunch of changes that seem unorganized) I come home from work to find I received mail that had my first name and my ex's last name which felt like a slap in the face considering we broke up before we ever got to the engagement part. Then on top of that I got a text from a family member that wasn't exactly a nice text. Anyway because it was such an upsetting day I called my little sister for her to cheer me up. She just got braces today so obviously her day was worse than mine! I will say it again (it's like a broken record here) I LOVE my little sister! She makes me laugh everytime.
Somehow we went from talking about her new braces, she got pink and orange colored bands, to talking about vaginas. Somehow this shit goes together we just haven't figured out how. First I have to say the conversation started out with how much my niece wanted to wear the "bracelets" that Loren had on her teeth. She wouldn't believe they were called braces, they are called bracelets.
Then somehow we went from that to how the lady doing my sisters braces was useless... to discussing our annual ob/gyn appointments. We both have decided that we do not like female ob/gyn's because we feel like they compare our vagina's to everyone elses. Because women are caddy people! wouldn't you compare your vagina to someone elses? and now I'm curious about how my vagina compares to other women's vagina's!!! ugh!!! This is not something I should be curious about. I should be wondering what it's like to be a shark swimmign around scaring people!
Needless to say my sister and I could not figure out how we went from braces to vaginas but we know this shit goes together!!! Plus I spent an hour laughing at saying vagina numerous times in the conversation. Vagina is just a weird fun word to say.... it really should be used randomly in sentences.
Somehow we went from talking about her new braces, she got pink and orange colored bands, to talking about vaginas. Somehow this shit goes together we just haven't figured out how. First I have to say the conversation started out with how much my niece wanted to wear the "bracelets" that Loren had on her teeth. She wouldn't believe they were called braces, they are called bracelets.
Then somehow we went from that to how the lady doing my sisters braces was useless... to discussing our annual ob/gyn appointments. We both have decided that we do not like female ob/gyn's because we feel like they compare our vagina's to everyone elses. Because women are caddy people! wouldn't you compare your vagina to someone elses? and now I'm curious about how my vagina compares to other women's vagina's!!! ugh!!! This is not something I should be curious about. I should be wondering what it's like to be a shark swimmign around scaring people!
Needless to say my sister and I could not figure out how we went from braces to vaginas but we know this shit goes together!!! Plus I spent an hour laughing at saying vagina numerous times in the conversation. Vagina is just a weird fun word to say.... it really should be used randomly in sentences.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Dead birds make great lullabys
I should start out by saying I LOVE my little sister and her twisted mind. :) She only gets it from me... haha
So I have a hard time sleeping but I work a normal job. So when my sister and I were texting last night at like midnightish I was finally like "look I need to attempt sleep since I have to be up early!" a
This was her response:
"Let me sing you to sleep...
Hush little lela don't say a word baby sister won't buy you a bird
She will jsut run one over in your car and bring it to you
Hush little Lela don't say a word
I'll make sure it's not a dead bid
Hush little Lela don't say a word
I'll kill a bitch with one single word
La la la la la la la la la la la lalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Now shut up and go to sleep"
I'm not sure if it helped me go to sleep or if it caused nightmares. I should probably state the one time I let her drive my car she hit a bird... there were feathers in the grill until I made her wash it.
So I have a hard time sleeping but I work a normal job. So when my sister and I were texting last night at like midnightish I was finally like "look I need to attempt sleep since I have to be up early!" a
This was her response:
"Let me sing you to sleep...
Hush little lela don't say a word baby sister won't buy you a bird
She will jsut run one over in your car and bring it to you
Hush little Lela don't say a word
I'll make sure it's not a dead bid
Hush little Lela don't say a word
I'll kill a bitch with one single word
La la la la la la la la la la la lalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Now shut up and go to sleep"
I'm not sure if it helped me go to sleep or if it caused nightmares. I should probably state the one time I let her drive my car she hit a bird... there were feathers in the grill until I made her wash it.
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