Tuesday, February 26, 2013

braces, vaginas...this shit goes together I just don't know how

I have had a horrible day.  Not only was it stressful with work (just a bunch of changes that seem unorganized) I come home from work to find I received mail that had my first name and my ex's last name which felt like a slap in the face considering we broke up before we ever got to the engagement part.   Then on top of that I got a text from a family member that wasn't exactly a nice text.  Anyway because it was such an upsetting day I called my little sister for her to cheer me up.  She just got braces today so obviously her day was worse than mine! I will say it again (it's like a broken record here) I LOVE my little sister!  She makes me laugh everytime. 

Somehow we went from talking about her new braces, she got pink and orange colored bands, to talking about vaginas.  Somehow this shit goes together we just haven't figured out how. First I have to say the conversation started out with how much my niece wanted to wear the "bracelets" that Loren had on her teeth.  She wouldn't believe they were called braces, they are called bracelets.
Then somehow we went from that to how the lady doing my sisters braces was useless... to discussing our annual ob/gyn appointments.  We both have decided that we do not like female ob/gyn's because we feel like they compare our vagina's to everyone elses.  Because women are caddy people!  wouldn't you compare your vagina to someone elses?  and now I'm curious about how my vagina compares to other women's vagina's!!! ugh!!!  This is not something I should be curious about.  I should be wondering what it's like to be a shark swimmign around scaring people!

Needless to say my sister and I could not figure out how we went from braces to vaginas but we know this shit goes together!!!  Plus I spent an hour laughing at saying vagina numerous times in the conversation.  Vagina is just a weird fun word  to say.... it really should be used randomly in sentences. 

Monday, February 25, 2013

Dead birds make great lullabys

I should start out by saying I LOVE my little sister and her twisted mind.  :)  She only gets it from me... haha
So I have a hard time sleeping but I work a normal job.  So when my sister and I were texting last night at like midnightish I was finally like "look I need to attempt sleep since I have to be up early!" a
This was her response:
"Let me sing you to sleep...
Hush little lela don't say a word baby sister won't buy you a bird
She will jsut run one over in your car and bring it to you
Hush little Lela don't say a word
I'll make sure it's not a dead bid
Hush little Lela don't say a word
I'll kill a bitch with one single word
La la la la la la la la la la la lalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Now shut up and go to sleep"

I'm not sure if it helped me go to sleep or if it caused nightmares.  I should probably state the one time I let her drive my car she hit a bird...  there were feathers in the grill until I made her wash it.